How to Relax Your Pelvic Floor

Key Takeaways

• Approximately 1 in 3 women will experience some form of pelvic floor dysfunction in their lifetime (Wu et al., 2014). For those with overly tight or contracted muscles, the goal is relaxation — not strengthening.
• Diaphragmatic breathing is one of the most accessible tools for pelvic floor relaxation. When done intentionally, it triggers an automatic relaxation response in the pelvic muscles (Talasz et al., 2011).
• Specific stretching positions — including wide-legged child’s pose, happy baby, and adductor stretching — can help release tension in the pelvic floor.
• For women diagnosed with vaginismus, dilation therapy can be another tool for relieving symptoms by applying gentle, controlled pressure to help relax overly contracted muscles (Correia et al., 2025).
• Vibration, whether integrated into a dilator or used separately, can further support muscle relaxation during therapy (Dubinskaya et al., 2023).

If anyone has ever told you, “Just relax!” in response to stress, you know how unhelpful those instructions can be. Figuring out how to relax when we are tense is difficult enough — but now imagine being told to relax muscles you did not even know existed. This is the reality for approximately 1 in 3 women in the US who will experience some form of pelvic floor dysfunction in their lifetime (Wu et al., 2014). Tight, overly contracted pelvic floor muscles can lead to painful spasms. The solution — relaxing those muscles — sounds straightforward, but the practical steps are more elusive. So let’s break it down.

Note: This article focuses on how to relax the pelvic floor muscles. However, there are pelvic floor conditions — such as certain types of incontinence — that require strengthening rather than relaxation. Ask your doctor what you should be focusing on for your specific situation.

Before diving into these techniques, it helps to have a basic understanding of what the pelvic floor is and how it functions. Our article What is the Pelvic Floor? is a good starting point if you’d like to orient yourself first.

Understanding Pelvic Floor Tension

The pelvic floor is a group of muscles at the base of the pelvis that support the bladder, uterus, vagina, and rectum (Wu et al., 2014). Like any muscle group, these muscles can become overly tight or contracted — sometimes involuntarily and without any obvious trigger.

When pelvic floor muscles are chronically tight, they can cause painful spasms, difficulty with penetration, discomfort during sex or gynecological exams, and other symptoms associated with conditions like vaginismus (Correia et al., 2025). Learning to consciously release these muscles is the foundation of most pelvic floor relaxation approaches.

The good news is that there are practical, evidence-informed techniques that can help — and most of them can be done at home, on your own schedule.

Diaphragmatic Breathing for Pelvic Floor Relaxation

As you breathe throughout the day, you are probably not thinking about each breath. Your chest simply rises and As you breathe throughout the day, you are probably not thinking about each breath. Your chest simply rises and falls. But when you bring conscious attention to your breath, you are able to actively engage your diaphragm — the dome-shaped muscle that separates your abdomen from your chest.

When you do this intentionally, something important happens. Not only does your heart rate slow and you feel more relaxed, your pelvic floor muscles automatically begin to relax as well (Talasz et al., 2011). As your diaphragm flattens with each conscious inhale, it pushes gently into your abdomen — and your pelvic muscles release in response. The two are connected (Talasz et al., 2011).

How to Practice

• Lie down somewhere comfortable and place one hand over your belly.
• Breathe in slowly and feel your abdomen expand outward on each inhale.
• Breathe out and feel your abdomen sink inward on each exhale.
• Start with 10 deep belly breaths and gradually work up from there over time.

This can be done daily. The more consistently you practice, the more natural the connection between breath and pelvic release will become (Bordoni et al., 2018).

Stretching for Pelvic Floor Relaxation

Like all muscles in the body, the pelvic floor benefits from stretching. Certain positions can help release tension in the pelvic floor muscles, creating more flexibility and reducing discomfort over time (Wallace et al., 2019).

Wide-Legged Child’s Pose

Start on your hands and knees. Spread your knees wide while keeping your big toes together. Gently bring your head toward the floor, lowering your torso down between your thighs, with your arms stretched out long in front of you. Stay in this position and breathe, feeling your pelvic girdle widen and soften.

Happy Baby

Lie on your back. Exhale and bend your knees toward your belly. Inhale and grip the outsides of your feet with your hands. Open your knees a little wider than your torso and gently draw your legs toward your armpits. Feel your pelvic girdle open and relax as you rock gently from side to side.

Adductor Stretching

Lie on your back. Let your knees fall out to the sides and bring the soles of your feet together. You can press gently down on your knees for a deeper stretch or place a pillow under each knee if that feels more comfortable. Breathe and allow your knees to sink gradually toward the floor. 

Dilation Therapy for Vaginismus

For women who have been diagnosed with vaginismus, dilation therapy is another option for relieving painful symptoms. Just as a massage releases tension in a tight muscle elsewhere in the body, applying gentle, controlled pressure to the vaginal wall can help relax overly contracted pelvic floor muscles (Correia et al., 2025). Vaginal dilators are gently inserted into the vagina to help alleviate painful spasms and gradually build comfort with penetration.

Dilators work by helping the body become accustomed to gentle pressure over time — progressing gradually at a pace that feels manageable, rather than forcing progress (Wallace et al., 2019). They can be used independently at home, before pelvic floor physical therapy sessions, or alongside other relaxation techniques like the breathing and stretching described above.

Vibration is another tool that can support muscle relaxation during dilation therapy. Gentle vibration has a calming effect on tight pelvic muscles, may help reduce pain sensitivity, and can make therapy feel more comfortable and less clinical. If you want to understand more about how vibration therapy works and what the research shows, our article Easing Painful Sex: Discover the Potential Benefits of Vibration Therapy goes into detail.

When it comes to dilation therapy, how a dilator is designed matters — not just for comfort in the moment, but for whether a woman stays consistent with her therapy over time. A tool that is precision-engineered to expand gradually, eliminate the need to remove and reinsert progressively larger sizes, and reduce both physical and emotional stress makes it easier to keep showing up for sessions. And consistency is a critical factor in how quickly progress happens. In a recent clinical study of Milli users, 85% made measurable progress toward intercourse within 90 days (Materna Medical, n.d.). For more on what thoughtful dilator design looks like in practice, see our article Why Milli’s Adaptive Design is a Modern Choice for Vaginal Dilators.

Lubrication is also encouraged to facilitate comfort during dilation. The goal is to work at the pace that feels right for your body — not to force progress or push through pain.

“Approximately 1 in 3 women in the US will experience some form of pelvic floor dysfunction in their lifetime — yet many have never been taught how to consciously relax these muscles.”

FAQs

How do I know if my pelvic floor is too tight?

Common signs of pelvic floor muscle tightness include pain or discomfort with penetration (during sex, tampon use, or gynecological exams), difficulty relaxing the vaginal muscles, pelvic pain or pressure, and painful muscle spasms (Correia et al., 2025). A pelvic floor physical therapist can assess your muscle tone and confirm whether tightness is part of the picture.

Can I relax my pelvic floor on my own at home?

Yes. Diaphragmatic breathing and targeted stretching positions — such as wide-legged child’s pose, happy baby, and adductor stretching — can be practiced at home without any equipment. These techniques help release tension gradually over time when practiced consistently (Wallace et al., 2019).

What is the connection between breathing and pelvic floor relaxation?

The diaphragm and the pelvic floor are functionally connected. When you breathe deeply and consciously engage your diaphragm, the pelvic floor muscles automatically respond by relaxing (Talasz et al., 2011). This is why diaphragmatic breathing is often one of the first techniques recommended for pelvic floor tension.

What is dilation therapy and who is it for?

Dilation therapy involves using vaginal dilators to gently and gradually apply pressure to the vaginal walls, helping relax contracted pelvic floor muscles over time (Correia et al., 2025). It is most often recommended for women with vaginismus or related pelvic floor tightness that causes painful penetration. It can be used at home independently or alongside pelvic floor physical therapy.

Does vibration help with pelvic floor relaxation?

Gentle vibration may help reduce muscle tension, improve blood flow, and lower pain sensitivity in the pelvic area — making it a useful complement to dilation therapy for some women. Our article Easing Painful Sex: Discover the Potential Benefits of Vibration Therapy explores the research in more detail.

Should I see a pelvic floor physical therapist?

Pelvic floor physical therapy is one of the most effective options for addressing muscle tightness and related symptoms (Wallace et al., 2019). A pelvic floor PT can assess your specific situation, provide hands-on treatment, and guide your overall plan. But it is important to understand that what happens between visits is what ultimately drives progress. Appointments are typically spaced one to two weeks apart, and the home practice you do in that time — consistently, on your own — is where the real work happens. PT guides the process, but it cannot do the therapy for you.

This is why the tool you use at home matters. Milli is designed to work independently or alongside pelvic floor physical therapy — it can be used before you begin PT, between sessions to reinforce in-clinic progress, or in support of a telehealth care model. Its gradual, patient-controlled expansion and optional integrated vibration are designed to reduce the physical and emotional stress of at-home sessions, making it easier to stay consistent with your protocol between visits. If you have been experiencing pelvic pain, difficulty with penetration, or symptoms of vaginismus, speaking with a provider or seeking a pelvic floor PT referral is a worthwhile step — and having the right home tool in place can make that plan more effective.

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Sources

• Bordoni, B., Purgol, S., Bizzarri, A., Modica, M., & Morabito, B. (2018). The influence of breathing on the central nervous system. Cureus, 10(6), e2724. https://doi.org/10.7759/cureus.2724
• Correia, G. N., Driusso, P., & Rodrigues, A. M. (2025). Vaginismus treatment: A systematic review and meta-analysis of contemporary therapeutic approaches. Journal of Sexual Medicine. https://doi.org/10.1093/jsxmed/qdaf148
• Dubinskaya, A., Horwitz, R., Scott, V., Anger, J., & Eilber, K. (2023). Is it time for doctors to Rx vibrators? A systematic review of pelvic floor outcomes. Sexual Medicine Reviews, 11(1), 15–22. https://doi.org/10.1093/sxmrev/qeac008
• Materna Medical. (n.d.). POMPOM clinical study results (Data on file, KEY0054 and supporting references KEY0050–KEY0053).
• Talasz, H., Kremser, C., Talasz, A., Scherfler, S., Fuchs, D., & Lechleitner, M. (2011). Phase-locked parallel movement of diaphragm and pelvic floor during breathing and coughing. Ultrasound in Obstetrics & Gynecology, 37(5), 635–641. https://doi.org/10.1002/uog.7500
• Wallace, S. L., Miller, L. D., & Mishra, K. (2019). Pelvic floor physical therapy in the treatment of pelvic floor dysfunction in women. Current Opinion in Obstetrics and Gynecology, 31(6), 485–493.
• Wu, J. M., Vaughan, C. P., Goode, P. S., Redden, D. T., Burgio, K. L., Richter, H. E., & Markland, A. D. (2014). Prevalence and trends of symptomatic pelvic floor disorders in U.S. women. Obstetrics & Gynecology, 123(1), 141–148. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3970401/