Struggling with Painful Sex? Here’s What You Need to Know About Vaginismus and How to Find Relief

Vaginismus is more common than you might think.

This condition occurs when your pelvic floor muscles reflexively tighten, making penetration—whether during sex, tampon use, or a gynecological exam—painful or even impossible. The good news? Treatment is highly effective, and dilators like Milli can play a crucial role in helping you find relief.

We spoke with Dr. Sheryl Kingsberg, an expert in women’s sexual health, to answer your most pressing questions about vaginismus and its treatment.

What Is Vaginismus?
Vaginismus happens when the muscles in and around the vagina tighten on their own, often triggered by anxiety or fear of pain. This can make activities like sexual intercourse, tampon use, or even routine medical exams uncomfortable or painful.

Why Do My Muscles Tighten During Sex?
When you’re stressed or anxious, your body may react with a pelvic reflex, where your pelvic floor muscles tighten involuntarily. While this is your body’s way of protecting you, it often exacerbates pain during penetration.

Can Vaginismus Be Treated?
Absolutely. Vaginismus is highly treatable. In fact, studies show treatment success rates of up to 94% when combining Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) with the use of dilators. Addressing both the psychological and physical aspects of vaginismus is key to finding relief.

How Do Dilators Help?
Dilators, like Milli, are a game-changer in treating vaginismus. They work by gently stretching the vaginal muscles, reducing the reflexive tightening over time. What makes Milli unique is its adjustable design—it expands gradually, so you can control your progress at your own pace.

Milli also includes a vibration feature that many women find helpful in relaxing their muscles, offering a more personalized and comfortable approach compared to traditional, rigid dilator sets.

Will Treatment Hurt?
No, the goal is to avoid pain entirely. Tools like Milli are designed for gradual, pain-free progress, empowering you to stay in control and move only at a pace you’re comfortable with. Treatment is about teaching your body that penetration doesn’t have to hurt.

How Long Does Treatment Take?
Every journey is unique. While some women see progress within weeks, others may take a few months. Consistency is key, regular use of your dilator will help ensure success.

Do I Need My Partner to Help?
Not at all. Treatment is something you can manage independently. However, if you have a supportive partner, their encouragement may be helpful. That said, this is your journey, and involving others is entirely your choice.

Why Haven’t I Heard of Vaginismus Before?
Vaginismus is often under-diagnosed and under-discussed, even among healthcare professionals. Many women are unaware of the condition, but increasing awareness and resources mean you’re not alone in this journey.

What Should I Do If I’m Embarrassed to Talk About It?
Feeling hesitant to discuss vaginismus is normal. Remember, it’s a medical condition and nothing to be ashamed of. If talking to a healthcare professional feels daunting, telehealth options or online communities can offer a safe space to seek support.

Why Choose Milli?

Milli stands out as an innovative solution for women with vaginismus. Unlike traditional dilator sets, Milli is adjustable, allowing you to gradually expand its size at your own pace. This personalized approach helps reduce discomfort and ensures you stay in control. Additionally, Milli is available over the counter, making it easier to start treatment when you’re ready.

About Dr. Sheryl Kingsberg

Dr. Sheryl Kingsberg is a leading expert in women’s sexual health, specializing in female sexual disorders, menopause, and reproductive mental health. As the Division Chief of Behavioral Medicine at University Hospitals MacDonald Women’s Hospital and a Professor at Case Western Reserve University, she has dedicated her career to advancing the treatment of vaginismus and related conditions. Dr. Kingsberg has over 100 peer-reviewed publications and serves on editorial boards for renowned medical journals.